I am the first to admit I have not got this parenting thing down. I lean on a lot of things I learned form my parents and well some things they got right and some things they got wrong but I figure how bad could they have been, I turned out alright, right? Well yesterday another set of parents peeped me some knowledge and I sensibly shut my mouth and listened. The subject was: “cutting down arguing and “push backs” you get from your kids, by giving them choices within logical time constraints. This is what they said…
Instead of telling your child to “put your seat belt” give them a choice. “Would you like to put the seat belt on yourself or would you like me to help you?” The bottom line is the seat belt is getting put on.
Instead of “time to go to bed”, Say instead “Would you like to go to bed in 25 minutes or now?” This is to be followed up with a proper countdown of 5 minute increments. For example: “You have 15 minutes left. You have 10 minutes left; you now have five minutes left. Alright time to go.” This logical time constraint gives your child choices, he feels he is growing and in control. It also stops them from the pleading of “5 more minutes or just a little more time.” It works as well when ending a play date or bringing any of their activities to a close.
In the end we have to teach our children to enjoy making decisions. This is empowering them. And the choices are under our control creating less drama and that is liberating to us parents.