Personality disorder threatened Walker's lifeHerschel Walker, a University of Georgia football legend, successful businessman and father of one, said in his book "Breaking Free" and during an interview with ABC's "Nightline" that he nearly took his own life and the lives of others as he struggled with Dissociative Identity Disorder.
In the "Nightline" interview, the 46-year-old brotha talked about playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun at his kitchen table shortly after his retirement from football in 1998.
"To challenge death like I was doing, you start saying, there's a problem here," Walker said in the interview.
The interview coincides with the release of Walker's book, which chronicles Walker's lifelong struggle with DID and his therapy since being diagnosed in 2002. Since that time, Walker has worked with Dr. Jerry Mungadze to understand the disease, in which alternate personalities aid a person who is dealing with traumatic events.
In the prologue of Walker's book, he describes how a business deal over the delivery of a car so enraged him that he checked his glove box for his Beretta while driving to the meeting.
"The logical side of me knew that what I was thinking of doing to this man — murdering him for messing up my schedule — wasn't a viable alternative," Walker wrote. "But another side of me was so angry that all I could think was how satisfying it would feel to step out of the car, pull out the gun, slip off the safety and squeeze the trigger.
"It would be no different from sighting on targets I'd fired at for years — except for the visceral enjoyment I'd get from seeing the small entry wound and the spray of brain tissue and blood — like a Fourth of July fireworks — exploding behind him."
His former wife, Cindy Grossman, told ABC how Walker put a gun to her temple."There was somebody there that was evil," Grossman told ABC.
Walker started writing the book three years ago as a way to reach out to others with DID.
In the "Nightline" interview, the 46-year-old brotha talked about playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun at his kitchen table shortly after his retirement from football in 1998.
"To challenge death like I was doing, you start saying, there's a problem here," Walker said in the interview.
The interview coincides with the release of Walker's book, which chronicles Walker's lifelong struggle with DID and his therapy since being diagnosed in 2002. Since that time, Walker has worked with Dr. Jerry Mungadze to understand the disease, in which alternate personalities aid a person who is dealing with traumatic events.
In the prologue of Walker's book, he describes how a business deal over the delivery of a car so enraged him that he checked his glove box for his Beretta while driving to the meeting.
"The logical side of me knew that what I was thinking of doing to this man — murdering him for messing up my schedule — wasn't a viable alternative," Walker wrote. "But another side of me was so angry that all I could think was how satisfying it would feel to step out of the car, pull out the gun, slip off the safety and squeeze the trigger.
"It would be no different from sighting on targets I'd fired at for years — except for the visceral enjoyment I'd get from seeing the small entry wound and the spray of brain tissue and blood — like a Fourth of July fireworks — exploding behind him."
His former wife, Cindy Grossman, told ABC how Walker put a gun to her temple."There was somebody there that was evil," Grossman told ABC.
Walker started writing the book three years ago as a way to reach out to others with DID. Before word started to leak about the impending publication of "Breaking Free," friends and family were unaware of Walker's diagnosis. And the diagnosis is somewhat controversial. Many in the psychiatric profession feel alternative personalities can be implemented by therapists as way to mask other feelings.
"My goal is to help bring freedom to the lives of those who have it and understanding to those who have never experienced it," Walker said.
Those who have DID have experienced a traumatic event or events in their lives, such as abuse. Walker makes it clear in his book that he was never physically, mentally or sexually abused as a child in his home. He was bullied at school and made fun of for a speech impediment and being overweight as a child. [AJC]