NO SEX IN THE CITY #11 - I LEFT LA WITH MY COUSIN, I CAME BACK WITH A BEST FRIEND

The Ojai Chronicles Day 3 (Day 2) (Day 1)

By Cousin Kim

Surprising myself after a night of wine and cheese on a lactose intolerant stomach, I awoke in time to join the 7am brisk walk. Once again I duck-walked along the residential street of Ojai with other Oaks guests. This time we took a different route, which afforded us the opportunity to see the house of "the duck lady" or what one walker described as "a cute idea that got way out of hand."

The front yard was littered with every kind of duck imaginable -- from stuffed animals to ceramic specimens; even the mailbox had yellow ducks painted on it!

Our guide informed us that "the duck lady" had applied for a business license recently to which one walker drably replied, "she probably plans to sell all that crap."

Upon my returning, I met up with Cousin Jana in our room where she'd just exited the shower. The divorced mom of four little ones was watching the film 'A Time to Kill'. Although she left for breakfast, I got so sucked into the movie that I decided to skip the 9:15 am stretch class. Jana's idea of relaxation finally took hold of me as well.

After Jana finished breakfast and the movie concluded, we decided to walk through Ojai's Farmers Market before heading back to LA. We stopped briefly at the lavender table to smell the sachets as we discovered that lavender is a favorite scent for both of us.

We salivated to the smells of homemade tamales, cookies, and pies but did not give into temptation. Our last stop was a feature of the market I'd never seen before--a booth with bowls and kitchen utensils made from very strong bamboo.

Deciding not to transport any fresh fruits and vegetables for our ninety mile drive home, we headed back to the Oaks to settle our bill. We said goodbye to the wonderful staff and I headed out to warm up the car while Jana purchased some agave nectar from the gift shop.

As we rode highway 33 heading toward home, I felt a sense of remorse pulling at my heart. "Ojai is a hard place to leave", I confided to my girl. Jana thanked me for driving her up there and promised to do more activities next time. I contemplated how at 36 and 40 years old we are no longer kids, but we will always be connected by our childhood experiences. The weekend gave me a chance to get to know my "little cousin" as the wonderful, strong, beautiful Black woman she has grown to be.

For that, I am eternally grateful to my magical home away from home Ojai, California.

NO Sex In the City #11 - Single In LA, At One With Nature In Ojai

The Ojai Chronicles (Day 2 of 3) (Day1)

By Cousin Kim

"You are always expanding and deepening. What looks like a 'detour' to the goal-setter in you might well be a rich and enlivening direction for the 'you that is emerging'!" -- Robyn L. Posin

Clean tennis shoes or dirty? I decided on the dirty ones even though I didn't feel like the 7 am mini hike was in my future. I like to have options. Managing to dress and leave our room at The Oaks at Ojai without waking my cousin Jana, after a brief warm up downstairs, off we went on a one hour brisk walk through this beautiful Southern California town.

As we walked two abreast along the residential streets, my walking partner shared her hope that we wouldn't have to climb the hills we'd just descended on the way back. I thought to myself that she might want to conserve her breath and stop chattering away just in case we did.

Once back at the Oaks, I enjoyed a hearty low cal breakfast of oatmeal, a mini muffin, and fruit. Jana, free from her four small children and a challenging ex-husband, came down later and joined me on the poolside patio. Leaving her to enjoy agave nectar with her coffee, I went to a class called Body Awareness, which is a stretch and relaxation class.

Afterwards, while Jana did some solo shopping and visited the local museum, I opted to return to Soul Centered Book Store for another dose of metaphysical comfort. When I entered the shop, the cashier welcomed me back from the day before. "The crystal bed is available," she said as she handed me a cup of filtered water.

She then escorted me to the back room where I lay down on a bed which was essentially a slab of rock inlaid with crystals. Crystal is said to have healing properties, so I placed a large rose quartz on my chest, to open the heart chakra, and closed my eyes. At first, I was mainly aware of the conversations occurring in the store up front. Then I began to relax and the noise disappeared leaving only the sound of the calming music and a deep sense of relaxation and well being.

When I returned to the Oaks I felt calm and serene. I decided to join in the bingo game which had started up in the room. There were few participants and prizes to be won, so I figured that the odds of winning were good. Soon Jana joined me and we jockeyed five bingo cards each hoping to win a cookbook, compact disc, or dvd.

The bingo caller, who was dressed in a 50's costume, was clearly an Elvis fan obsessed with trivia. At one point, the bingo caller asked how many movies Elvis had made to which Jana and the gay man next to her answered simultaneously, "too many!" We all had a good laugh on that one as they high-fived one another.

At 8pm we were both scheduled for massages. My masseuse had two speeds--firm and firmer. It was an invigorating experience; one that left me ready for Ojai's version of night life--live music at Movino Wine Bar. We'd planned to meet two local women there for drinks. While we shared fruit and cheese, one of the locals described her recent job change. I reflected on the fact that transition was a big theme the entire weekend as the live band played and Moulin Rouge provided background visuals on a flat screen.

Tipsy after one glass of Chardonnay(yeah I know, I'm pathetic), Jana and I said goodbye to our local friends and strolled back to the Oaks ready to swan dive into our single beds and let the hum of the air conditioner accompany us into our dreams.

The serenity of Ojai fed my spirit, filled me with spirits, and gently rocked me to sleep.

No Sex In The City #10 - Sometimes Getting Out Of Dodge Is Just The Right Cure For What's Ailing You

The Ojai Chronicles (Day 1 of 3)

by Cousin Kim

"Your first responsibility to all beings on our planet is to take the very best care of your very own self." -Robyn L.

There's so much I love about Los Angeles, and not just because I was born and raised here. But hey, sometimes a city girl needs to leave La-La land to gain some spiritual perspective.

Knowing this to be the truth for myself, I retreated to Ojai, CA with my younger cousin Jana. While I planned to exercise and focus on my spiritual and physical health, Jana planned to simply relax and decompress from the stress of her divorce and the demands of being a mother of four small children.

The Oaks at Ojai, a health resort, allowed us both to experience the ideal weekend. About ninety miles from LA, the name Ojai means nest or moon in the language of the original inhabitants, the Chumash Indians.

We arrived at the Oaks just in time for lunch. We introduced ourselves to our table mates and dines on a sumptuous low calorie meal followed by a fruit dessert.

I'd warned Jana that the meals were designed to be healthy---salt and refined sugar free. Luckily, she enjoyed the food and was surprised at how tasty it was. I listened intently as Jana described her challenges as a mother, student, and full time employee to others at our table. I got to know her better through the eyes of strangers and I admired who she has grown to become as a woman.

After lunch, I wanted to play big sister and show Cousin Jana around one of my favorite towns. We browsed shops at the Arcade, Ojai's much superior version of a strip mall.

Then we walked two blocks up to Soul Centered, a metaphysical book shop which I visit every time I return to Ojai. Although the woman I usually visit with had retired, I was able to meet the owner and introduce Jana to Marilyn, the resident healer. While I experienced a healing session with Marilyn, Jana picked out clever bookmarks with sage advice that resonated with her.

Clever bookmarks -- eighty cents each. Sage advice -- priceless.

Next we visited Ojai House where I'd discovered a cute gift for parents with male babies. It's a cap that prevents mommy and daddies' little love from squirting them in the face when they change him. Unaware of the sex of my girlfriend's soon to be born child, I settled on a cute white onesie that read, "To pee or not to pee. That is the question...you know the answer."

On the way back to the spa, we stopped at Rainbow Bridge for a snack. Jana spotted a chocolate peanut butter cup at the register and we happily split one on our walk. It was like we were kids again enjoying a shared snack on a hot, summer day.

That night after dinner, we headed our separate ways to enjoy individual pursuits. Jana opted to attend an evening program on health and nutrition, while I consulted the local newspaper to find out what time the sun set would be. Armed with this information, I drove up to Meditation Mountain to watch Ojai's famous pink moment. When the sun sets over the Topa Topa Mountains in Ojai, a beautiful pink glow appears in the space between the sun and the mountains.

As I walked down to the view point at Meditation Mountain, I noted that there was a quarter moon hanging in the southern part of the sky as the sun created the pink moment in the west. In my mind I greeted a large rock and asked if I could be seated. Twenty two miles away in Ventura County, there was a fire raging that added a light blanket of smoke that clung to the pink glow.

I heard loud birds squawking and searched the sky to see where they flew. Suddenly, I spotted them flying in the middle of the sky rather than at the higher altitude into which I'd been gazing. As the sun kissed the mountains, I heard a rooster crow in the distance and a lone dog barking as if they were saying goodbye to the sun.

A couple whispered behind me as they approached the viewpoint, displaying a certain reverence that is only inspired by the most beautiful of sights. They spread a blanket and sat down to meditate as a truck roared below us, crickets began to play their body violins and the lights in the town below illuminated the night.

When the sun completely disappeared, I started the walk back to the parking lot. I contemplated my commune with the sunset. I thought, "Writing is my prayer. It is my way of appreciating moments with God over and over again."