WOMEN DON'T SAY WHAT THEY MEAN AND MEAN WHAT THE SAY, RIGHT BROTHERS?

THE NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.

A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8 . Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"

For the woman's response refer to #3.

Men, you've been warned!
Women you know you're laughing right now because this is true.

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Check this recent review of Lauryn Hill's Oakland California Concert

LAURYN HILL’S OAKLAND GIG A MESS: After finally taking the stage some 2 ½ hours after the starting time of her Wednesday (June 27, 2007) performance at Oakland’s Paramount Theatre, Lauryn Hill proceeded to frustrate ticket holders to the point that several dozen demanded refunds.

“Those were the smart ones - the rest of us remained in our seats and watched what amounted to a two-hour train wreck,” wrote Jim Harrington of the San Jose Mercury News. “How bad was this concert? Well, calling it a fiasco would be an insult to fiascos everywhere.”

Here’s how Harrington saw things:

“Once Hill finally made her appearance, fronting a solid 14-piece band that deserved far better than this, things began to quickly unravel. She opened with a jammed-out, improvised number that featured almost no real lyrics and zapped whatever little wind remained in the crowd's sails.

The 32-year-old vocalist then turned to 1998's landmark "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" - a work that, amazingly, still stands as her most recent studio effort - for a garbled version of "Lost Ones." Her voice was terrible, so harsh, strained and unlike what one hears on the masterful "Miseducation" CD. She also sounded like she's out of shape, huffing and puffing like a weekend warrior after only a few songs.

But it wasn't just her voice that was shaky. Hill stumbled about the stage and, at one point, actually fell flat on her back - which brought into question exactly what the singer had been doing backstage during the long delay.

Of course, Hill would find that question ludicrous. She blamed her stage fall on her high heels and, later in the show, took the time to assure the crowd that she was sober. Assuming she was telling the truth then that's one less excuse Hill has for her terrible outing, which included shoddy and uninspired vocal performances on such formerly great "Miseducation" tunes as "To Zion" and "Final Hour."

The singer had somewhat better luck with the material from her old band, the Fugees. Her voice was brittle and weak on "How Many Mics," but she finally started to get in the swing of things with "Fu-Gee-La" and "Ready or Not."

By that time, however, the once-capacity crowd had dwindled down to half a house. Those who left early missed Hill's new song, "Lose Myself," which is featured on the "Surf's Up" soundtrack. It's a pretty good tune, but the singer wrecked it in concert by stretching it out far beyond its recommended dosage.

In all, Hill didn't manage to provide one good reason why locals should remain in her fan camp. I'd like to tell you different, but that would clearly be a "miseducation" of the readers.

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO OF PEOPLE AT THE CONCERT DEMANDING THEIR MONEY BACK!



Props to Jim Harrington at EURweb.com