Quickie: Are Current Gas Prices Really That Outrageous? You Betcha!

This week gas. Next week, maybe my family can afford groceries! SMH!!!

Oprah Puts The OH-MY-GOD In Christmas With Her Favorite Things Episode: Stand Down Usher!

The Proper And Improper Use Of The N-Word: Blazing Saddles Versus TV Producer Mark Gordon And Dr. Laura Sclessinger

You Go Cleavon Little!

Now Grey's Anatomy writer and producer Mark Gordon, your use
was a different story.

And radio host Dr. Laura, well... listen for yourself, then decide:

QUICKIE: Toe Nails Are Cool, But This Is Just... Ewww!

Old Chinese Proverb # 7

Confucius say --

"If you are in a book store and cannot find the book for which you search, you are obviously in the.....

No, no. No need to thank us. Just pass it along.

Pants On The Ground? Tell 'Em Larry What Time It Is!

The "American Idol" contestant who stole the Atlanta round definitely has his pants hiked up. The guy is crazy -- like a fox!

He's 62-year-old "General" Larry Platt, whose original composition, "Pants on the Ground," had the judges, his fellow contestants (and anyone else who saw the conclusion of Wednesday night) completely in stitches.

And as it turns out, creating an instant "Idol" and Twitter sensation isn't even close to the coolet thing Platt's ever done.

As USA Today reported, Platt is an African American community activist with real cred. He participated in some of the seminal moments of the Civil Rights Movement, organizing sit-ins in the South as part of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in Georgia.

Platt was beaten during the Bloody Sunday march -- led by Rev. Hosea Williams and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. -- from Selma, Ala., to Montgomery.

But for the moment, Platt is known as the old school brother who instantaneously put #pantsontheground on the Twitter trending-topic queue to the delight of millions.

And if Black men get the true message, even better!

Source

Man Caught Cheating On His Wife Has A Mouthful To Say!

DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

A wife comes home early to find her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

Yes, she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'

'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the
car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car..

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but
don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

10 Rules For Thanksgiving - This WILL Make You Laugh!!!

Funny, But Soooo True!

1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it?

Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything.

2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your azz down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them damn pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.

3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort the little moochers to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their azzez!

4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn.. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.

5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy azz home next year!

6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or there will be a “misunderstanding”.

7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING IN AND LEAVING MY PROPERTY!!!

8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is NOT a DAYCARE CENTER! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DSS on your ignorant azz!!

9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your azz home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.

10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy azz family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET!

Right Now, I'm In Desperate Need of A Soul Train Line!

HILARIOUS: This Is What Happens When Black Couples Get On Facebook!!!

I Love Me Some Elmo, Especially After Watching This!

Sure Spongebob's Got Soul, But Can He Sing Like Soulja Boy?

QUICKIE: All Hail To The Queen Of Soul... And That Hat!

Bush said this ain't over until the fat lady sings.

Then Barack called Aretha Franklin up and handed her the mic....

CASE CLOSED!!!!

Anyone Up For Some Naked Snow Skiing????

Okay, this is hilarious! In a beyond bizarre incident, an obviously white (and clearly pasty) skier at Colorado's ritzy Vail resort was left dangling upside down and pantsless from a chairlift.

According to the website The Smoking Gun, the January 1 mishap apparently occurred after the male skier, 48, and a child boarded a high-speed lift in Vail's Blue Sky Basin. It appears that the chairlift's fold-down seat was somehow not in the lowered position, which caused the man to partially fall through the resulting gap.

His right ski got jammed in the ascending chairlift, and that kept him upended since his boot never dislodged from its binding.

As seen in the photos (snapped by fellow skiers), the Skyline Express lift was stopped shortly after the pair's botched boarding resulted in the man dangling from the lift. The exposed skier was stuck for about 15 minutes before Vail personnel backed the lift up and successfully dislodged the unidentified man from the four-seat chair.

In a statement released this afternoon, Vail Resorts, which operates the ski area, reported that the skier was not injured after being "suspended for approximately seven minutes." The press release did not explain how the mishap occurred, only that "the man was caught on the chair."

You know the lawyers are already working out the financial settlement on this bad boy. Priceless!

Quickie: Ghetto Fabulous Barack And Michelle Obama Nails!

DISCUSS....

HILARIOUS! Curb Your Enthusiasm's Larry David Can Feel Erin Aubry Kaplan's Pain!

Never Mind The First Lady, Larry Is Accused of Being An Ass Man!

Stuff White People Hate: Goofy Best Men Who Ruin The Wedding

THIS IS HYSTERICAL AND YOU WILL WATCH AGAIN!!!

A Young Black Kid From L.A. Claims He's Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy?

Watch Out Little Man, You May End Up Costing Barack This Election

Comedy Central's Got Jokes About The Talking Cable News Heads

QUICKIE: SQUIRRELS DANCING TO MICHAEL JACKSON!